What do you do when you have prayed and prayed, but have not received the answer you sought? You had poured out your deep concerns to the Lord over and over, crying perhaps with hot tears, clearly asking for what you wanted God to do in response to your critical need or that of someone you love—and came up dry. The outcome was the very thing you did not want, and you can’t imagine how a good God could allow it to happen. It just doesn’t make sense to your rational mind and your heart is broken. Your spiritual journey is stymied. God’s love feels like an empty dream.
What do you do when you are angry with God because He has let you down? You did not get the best answer you had sought, the answer you were certain is the only right resolution to the problem. You are devastated and angry. You are disappointed and hurt. It feels like a betrayal. The scriptures gave you plenty of reason to believe it would turn out as you wanted. But it didn’t. You have a sense of being lost—not knowing where God is or where you are. The promised peace of Christ is missing.
Since you have prayed your heart out, there doesn’t seem to be anything else you can say. So, you can’t pray. You quit praying. It is like wandering in the wilderness with no sense of direction, thirsty and hungry for something to soothe the pain—but nothing does. You have pulled apart from the only true source of spiritual and emotional comfort. You feel like Job—isolated, bewildered, confused, and perhaps surrounded by others who are angry, critical and judgmental at the outcome, too. It is hard to get back on the solid ground of faith. You have lost your moorings. It is at this very point that faith is your ally.
Remember Who Has the Words of Life
At times like these, I think of what the Apostle Peter said to our Lord when others were turning away because they could not fathom what He was teaching at the time. Jesus asked Peter, “Will you also go away?” Peter’s answer is the one that I come back to when I am stymied in my walk with the Lord by some great disappointment or crisis. Peter answered, “Lord, to whom can we go? You have the words of eternal life” (John 6:68, NRSV).
That is true. Where else can we turn if we can’t turn to God, even if we do not understand the way He has led us or the way He has or has not answered our prayer? Mary and Martha felt like that when their brother Lazarus died. Read that story in John 11. We are told that Jesus loved Lazarus and his two sisters, and they loved Him. So, they sent word to notify Jesus that he was gravely ill. Jesus’ reaction was strange. He said, “This sickness will not end in death. No, it is for God’s glory so that God’s Son may be glorified through it” (John 11:4, NIV). (Hint: Tuck that aside as an important point.)
Then, Jesus stayed put for two more days! That is odd when verse 5 clearly says Jesus loved them. The sister, Mary, is the same one who poured perfume on the Lord, wiped His feet with her hair and sat listening to His teaching rather than work in the kitchen. These were dear, dear friends and yet He stayed where He was for two whole days while they waited and Lazarus died. As we read on, it is clear that Jesus was aware of all that, because He told his disciples, “Lazarus is dead…” He knew, just as He knows when we are at a point of crisis or in a period of loss. We don’t have to know why in order to turn to Him for comfort and guidance.
When Jesus finally arrived, the sisters each met him with the same comment, which I imagine had a lot of emotion embedded in it: “If you had been here, my brother would not have died.” That is an accusative statement at first blush, but it is also a declaration of faith in Jesus. She went on to say, “But I know that even now God will give you whatever you ask” (John 11:21, NIV). She had not given up hope, but her confidence had taken a hard hit. She needed Him to help her get re-oriented.
Jesus reminded them of the promise of eternal life, but Martha wanted earthly life restored. She desired life the way she wanted to enjoy it—the way it had been. Jesus said to her, “I am the resurrection and the life. He who believes in me will live, even though he dies, and whoever lives and believes in me will never die.” Then He asked, “Do you believe this?” She affirmed her faith in eternal life, but her faith in
Face Desolation with Faith
That is where we struggle most—not with our hope of eternal life, but with the earthly part of our pilgrimage. This is not a new dilemma. We want eternal life, yes, but we yearn for our earthly life to be like we think it should be—even like we believe the Bible promises. Many men and women of deep faith and devotion to Christ have written of their experiences of desolation and consolation. St. John of the Cross, a 16th century Catholic mystic and
From those who have walked on high ground with the Lord, we learn not to let despair win. Push back against it by refusing to let go of God, even if you feel He has let you down. Continue to read scriptures, meditate on their truths, sing hymns, pray for others, and commune with the Lord about your rational and emotional disturbance. Like Mary and Martha, let Him know clearly how you feel. Let it all come out! He knows it all anyway, and He is quite capable of withstanding all that you can throw at Him of grief, sorrow
Read the book of Job and you will see played out in his story the cycles of orientation, disorientation
Stay on the Journey with Jesus
We can also find some guidance in the story of Jairus, a synagogue leader who came to Jesus with a desperate plea to heal his only daughter, dying at age 12. With the crowd jostling around Him, noisy and demanding, they were delayed by a woman who reached out in faith to touch His garment and find healing for a physical condition that had plagued her for years. In the midst of that distraction and the miracle that healed her, someone met them to say Jairus’ daughter had died. Hearing this, Jesus turned to Jairus and said, “Don’t be afraid; just believe” (Mark 5:36, NIV). (Hint: this is another important point.) I imagine Jesus confronting Jairus’ despair with penetrating eyes of compassion and loving authority. Hear His words for your own life: “Don’t be afraid; just believe.”
I find in these stories a way forward in times when all hope is lost. Like Peter, I review the basics of my belief system and remember that Jesus is the only hope of eternal life. So, I reinforce my commitment not to give up in the face of things that seem to break down my belief. I choose faith. I choose to keep on keeping on, giving God the glory for all I know to be true and right and good in the situation. Then I
If you have had the experience of participating in recreational or competitive sports, you no doubt have had a coach who would not let you quit. No matter how devastated you might be from a loss or failure, the coach was right there urging you on, telling you to dig down deep and not let defeat be the end. So, in times of deep discouragement, I let Jesus say to me as He said to Jairus, “Do not be afraid; just believe.” I hear in that a voice of personal encouragement, urging me not to give up simply because things didn’t go my way. Like Job, I dig down deep and proclaim, “I know that my redeemer
Feed Your Faith with Scripture
I remember the stories of the Bible that indicate there may be times when we feel that the answers we sought have been delayed or denied. I think of the Israelites who had been crying out for 400 years, over many generations, for deliverance from slavery. It finally came. God intervened when the time was right and Moses was ready to be His prophet. Jesus finally came to Mary and Martha, when all seemed lost, and raised Lazarus from the dead. Peter kept trusting and following, and he was at the forefront of the Christian movement. Many have followed in his path. Job kept his focus through all kinds of upheaval and then lived a restored life. In our darkest hours, Jesus says to us, “Don’t be afraid; just believe.”
In fact, we can look at Jesus’ own death and resurrection to see that all is not lost, no matter how bad it seems. Renewal, restoration, deliverance—these are all God’s specialties. It may not happen just as we would order it, but it will come. Jesus said, “I will never leave you nor forsake you” (Joshua 1:5). So, do not be afraid. Don’t give up. Take heart. Continue to worship in a church community of faith. Give God the glory even when you wonder and doubt. In the long run, you will not lose. In the long run, you will still be with the only one who can give you the words of eternal life. In the end, your earthly experiences will be woven together into your eternal life. Let
Feed your faith with scripture. Lift your hope through singing hymns of faith and praying with the Psalms. The Psalmist wrote from many stages of desolation and consolation and prayed the prayers we sometimes cannot find within us. Read them and pray along with them until the flicker of a tiny spark of faith ignites again. Fan the flames of hope and let it glow again. Don’t turn your back on the only one who has the words of eternal life. You need them and Him. Besides, it just may be that this situation has occurred in your life “for God’s glory so that God’s Son may be glorified through it.” That is an outcome for which it is worth staying in the game!
