I have come to recognize that my perfectionist personality stems from some longings that grew in me through my childhood experiences—to be right and good and avoid discipline. Those are not bad goals, but they are impossible to meet perfectly in our human limitations. So, a lifetime with a lot of frustration for me and others followed.

I never prayed to be perfect and did not realize I was striving for it to an inordinate degree. I just thought it was required of all of us. After all, there are scriptures that seem to call for it, such as: “Be ye perfect as your Father in Heaven is perfect” (Matthew 5:48, NRSV). When lifted out of the bed of scripture, it sets an impossible goal. Even if it means to be complete and whole, human nature cannot achieve it fully.

The wonderful, good news is that we are made perfect in God’s sight through faith, as it was said of Abraham: “[He] believed God, and it was reckoned to him as righteousness” (Galatians 3:6, NRSV). We are made right with God through faith in the Love of God that brought us the gift of redemption through Jesus Christ.

The gift of righteousness that God gives is multi-dimensional and always in process—covenantal, personal, communal, relational, moral, ethical—and the outcome of faith in God’s Love as revealed in Christ. It is a higher attainment than we can reach, so God reaches it for us.

We need not only to be saved from our “sins,” but also from the power of “sin”—that power in us stemming from instincts and attitudes in our personalities that drive us to do and say things that mar relationships and muddy the river of our life. In short, we need to be transformed in our inner being, and that is the work and gift of the Holy Spirit. It is ours to receive and celebrate.

This poem is my celebration of God’s gift that makes us “right” in our relationship with God, even as He progressively loves us into being right with ourselves and one another.

I hope you enjoy the poem!

Perfect

Perfect was not my cry

But it is what Jesus gave.

He knew better than I

What my soul did crave.

I must earn it, was my thought,

Make it my own, not just pray.

Instead of trusting what He bought,

I was striving all the way.

Like a jewel hidden in plain sight,

It eluded my desperate eye.

I searched in the day as if it were night.

I missed the mark and swallowed the lie.

My greatest failure was not my sin.

It was missing the extent of His Love

And the Perfection He plants within

To fit me for His Kingdom above.

Perfectionism is striving to be

Right and correct in every way

Expecting others to tow the line

Criticizing and judging day by day.

While perfect is not ours to do

Lying beyond the reach of mortal aim.

It is the gift of love so true

When we give up the strain.

When we let Christ the Perfect One in,

He fills our soul with blessed light

And gives what we failed to win.

As Perfect Gift, He makes us right.

Through His loving Presence, He makes us whole.

All is forgiven that lies in the past.

He renews my mind and nurtures my soul.

My pursuit of perfect is over at last.

(written December 7, 2020)

New Revised Standard Version Bible, copyright © 1989 the Division of Christian Education of the
National Council of the Churches of Christ in the United States of America.
Used by permission. All rights reserved.

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Christmas Is Coming!

Christmas is coming, make ready with song

Something we’ve waited for all the year long

Now that the bells and the singing are here

We can remember until the next year

How the sleigh bells ringing out through the air

And the soft snow lying restfully there

Made us all tingle with joy and delight

As we sat singing by Christmas Tree light.

I think what led me to share this today is an article I read in a magazine about a woman of Hindu background whose family immigrated to America. They wanted to assimilate while also maintaining their Hindi faith. So, they integrated every secular Christmas tradition they could into their December but refrained from any of the “religious“ traditions. I wondered to myself, can you really completely sever the customs from the tradition in which it emerged?

If so, we have some work to do. The light that we celebrate every year—on trees, in windows and outside decorations—originally began to be used by Christians in devotion to the One Who claimed, “I AM the Light of the World.  Whoever follows me will never walk in darkness but will have the light of life” (John 8:12, NRSV). In today’s context, however, all the tinsel and glitter are simply about having celebratory times with family and friends. There is nothing wrong with that. Goodness knows, we all need to celebrate life, especially in a pandemic! But, how can we as Christians distinguish our celebrations from the non-Christian world?

The world at large decorates Christmas trees, listens to Christmas music, bakes Christmas cookies, exchanges gifts, and all the rest. So, what makes our celebration different? Look around your home and ask: if an unbeliever walked in today, would he or she see anything that points to Christ? For that matter, would my family members recognize in my home that “Jesus is the reason for the season?”

If not, you have some work to do! Find a Nativity set, some Christian-themed ornaments, an Advent wreath, angels, and have sacred Christmas carols playing in the background. Let your friends and family know why we celebrate Christmas! When we sit singing by Christmas Tree light, be singing songs that celebrate the coming of the Savior! And wrap it all in prayer! Give Glory to God in the Highest for bringing True Light into the darkness of our world—a light that only grows brighter in our hearts.

Merry Christmas! 

New Revised Standard Version Bible, copyright © 1989 the Division of Christian Education of the
National Council of the Churches of Christ in the United States of America.
Used by permission. All rights reserved.

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I prayed with hope, prayed with faith,

Prayed with words sublime

But, thus far the answers have not come.

I have prayed a long time

I waited in confidence,

Believed God’s Word is true

Trusted with heart, soul and mind

But, thus far nothing has been done.

Jesus said, as you have believed,

So will it be done for you.

So, did I believe too little?

Or too late?

Lord, help Thou my unbelief.

I have prayed a long time

What blocks the answers?

Why does it delay?

How can my deep yearnings come to rest?

Is the answer really so simple?

Wait and trust in what God does best?

Or is it a need to repent?

Is there a level of humility yet to be reached?

A depth of soul waiting to be plumbed,

To straighten at long last what has been bent

To listen more closely to what has been said

To finally and completely succumb only to Love

And to want no more and wait no more.

I have waited a long time.

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Red Rover, Red Rover

Send the weak one right over!

It’s a terrible game to inflict such shame

The big and the strong

Treat the weak as wrong

When they call your name

Weakness becomes your fame.

You are the one to blame.

You are the one to shame.

Why do we inflict deep pain?

Why cause shame to flow like rain?

The game never ends.

The strong still rack up the wins.

No matter how old we get

Our longing to win goes unmet.

The direction of our life was set

Making failure a sure bet

But hope springs anew

Time after time as we grew.

We believed deep in our core

That we could do more.

That there is more to our name

Than the brunt of a shame game.

That we are worthy to do right

So we move toward the Light

Until faith becomes sight

And soul fills with might.

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Yet, I know it is.

You have made me, bought me

I am truly Thine!

You have given me life, joy and peace

Wonderful mercy, love so fine.

Now, I pray—

Empty me out and fill me up

Fill me with Your Life Divine

Teach me to walk all my days

According to Your Will, not mine.

(written June 12, 1973)

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Thy Mind hast Thought me

Thy Power hast Wrought me

Thy Heart hast Sought me

Thy Blood hast Bought me

Thy Love has Brought me

Thine Enemy hast Fought me

Thy Word has Taught me

Thy Spirit has Caught me

Praise God, my sins are Naught!

Praise God, I Ought!

(written January 25, 1976)

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I’d choose one just like you—

A gentle friend with a quiet smile

And kindness in her eyes.

I’d choose a friend to share my faith

And respect my point of view—

A friend who’d listen with a tender heart

To deep and troubled heart cries.

I’d find a friend who’d accept me

No matter what I say or do—

Forgiving, excusing what isn’t wise,

Focusing on the good and true.

If I could find a friend like that,

I’d choose her right away.

I’d hold each memory in a grateful heart

And think of her every day.

I’d cherish each time we could share

About part of the problem and each little care.

I would hope and pray that our God above

Would mold our friendship by His Love

And make it strong for every test

And every storm that blows.

Then I’d pray every day for days to come

For back door visits and coffee cup talks

With the friend like that—that I found and chose.

(written September, 1989)

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God created a woman

She was without form in the darkness of a woman’s womb

He prepared, formed, fashioned her

Out of her mother and father’s elements

Elements of the earth and the generations gone by

God said, let her see Light

And she saw Light

And thought

This is Good

There was evening and there was morning, the first day.

She saw ceilings, windows, doors

And faces smiling and frowning

She felt hands and heard voices, somber and laughing

And she thought, this is interesting.

There was evening and there was morning, a second day.

She saw sky and clouds

She felt a gentle breeze and the warmth of the sun

And thought this is surely good.

There was evening and there was morning, a third day.

She saw rocks and sand, grass and trees,

Flowers and seeds.

She tasted their fruits and thought this is so good.

There was evening and there was morning, a fourth day.

She saw orange leaves in the Fall,

Snow in the winter,

Flowers in the spring and butterflies in the summer

And she thought, this is so good.

There was evening and there was morning, a fifth day.

She saw lakes and rivers, oceans and beaches,

With creatures of all kinds,

Swimming, flying, living – and dying

And she thought, this is strange.

She saw people walking and talking, laughing and shouting,

Working and resting.

She saw them loving and hating, hurting and crying

She cried.

She thought, this is not good.

She wanted peace and rest.

There was evening and there was morning, a sixth day.

She learned of God who created all things

And she believed.

She heard of Jesus who saves all things

And she received.

She read a Bible and learned —

There was a resting place for her soul.

There was evening and there was morning,

A seventh day

And she thought, this is really good.

There were weddings and divorces,

Births and deaths

There was loving and forgiving, hurting and leaving.

There was caring for lover and children, young and old, friend and foe.

There was Church

A community of faith, hope and love

Singing hymns of praise and worship,

Entering baptismal waters of new beginnings,

Hearing sermons of guidance and wisdom—

A Gospel of Revelation and Resurrection.

The days revolved and became years.

She worked hard, tried hard

Succeeded and failed

Sought and won

And it all dissolved into fears and tears

of regret and longing

And she thought, this is not good

She prayed and searched, studied and yearned.

The desires and longings turned and burned, day by day,

And she wondered.

Blessings came and sorrows grew.

There was sorrow in every hopeful tomorrow.

The woman prayed until she knew

All is well and shall be well

There is a way that leads to a Perfect Day

There is a Presence to take me all the way.

She welcomed the Spirit of All Love who welcomed her

And God said, it is Very Good.

(written July 11, 2020)

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When my dear precious loved one died

And restoration had not begun.

I wanted no regrets.

When death came to my tender, wise, helping guide

And full gratitude had not grown and shown.

I wanted no regrets.

But regrets came, along with shame

Pressed out by unkind words and unfair blame

Regrets were shaped by disappointment and loss

They came unbidden like foam on stormy seas toss

There is no way to lay them down,

No place for their burial ground.

I wanted no regrets.

But the deep pain came and lay silent in my breast

Until it left its mark and no rest.

The growing shadows shrouded my soul

And suppressed me in the dark

Dreading the truth to be told.

I wanted no regrets.

What to do with them, my soul wondered with tears.

Use them for a ladder to climb higher until I lose my fear.

Use them as stepping stones to walk a new path where I roam

Use them to plant good seeds to grow and bloom in a new home.

Regrets come but they can be a friend to teach

A better way that leads to a brighter day.

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But home is where you are welcomed, wanted

And treated with respect.

It is where you have freedom to be, to grow,

And to know this—

That wherever you roam, whatever you do,

At home your place is kept.

Perfect ones do not live there

But imperfect ones find grace there.

Home is where work and words matter

But mercy is what shows.

Home is where love grows and forgiveness flows.

Home is where hope is offered and grace shows.

Those with closed hearts don’t find

The door to what love may share;

But those who love, know that home is there

Because there are those who care.

Not everyone finds home as a restful haven

And a safe place to sleep;

But those who do have a home to keep.

Can one fully appreciate the wonder of home

As long as they are without and alone?

Whether brief or long, the loss of home runs deep.

When found again, so is the joy that bursts out with a shout.

Home is where I am not out, but in, to keep.

Home is here where love begins

And never ends.

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