Due to the dreaded, fateful COVID-19 pandemic, we find ourselves in the midst of monumental change. My spiritual director recently asked me to name images of the way life is different for me now. Immediately, I saw clearly what it is for me. In my mind’s eye, I saw myself on a merry-go-round, going happily (sometimes wearily) up and down, round and round, never stopping. At times, I could feel myself longing to get off for a while, and there were times when I did take a little time to disengage. But generally, there was no real stopping point.
Retirement was one of the most significant times when life did stop to some extent and really changed. But soon, I was as busy as ever, going up and down, round and round, but honestly not making the progress I wanted. Deep longings for a different way of being remained a constant, underlying shadow over my soul.
My image for the “now” is very different. The merry-go-round is completely still. There is little that I had been doing that is possible now without some change in the way I do it. So, it took a few moments for the answer to emerge for the second part of her question. Slowly, I came upon it as my eyes landed on an art print in my study—“The Road to Emmaus” by Robert Zünd (1877). It beckons to me for a way of being in this current context, as well as an invitation to the way of being that I have always wanted and now have the best opportunity to realize. It was that longing that made me identify with the painting decades ago and led me to purchase the print.
So, how do I learn from these two images? I do not want this to be wasted time, and I surely do not want it to become just a different way of riding a merry-go-round. I hear a call from the Spirit to walk with Jesus more closely during this time. This is my chance to read more, reflect more, pray more, meditate more. We often think that walking with Jesus means doing the good that He would have us do. And certainly, that is primary. Our best service, however, arises out of being constantly immersed in the fresh flowing current of the river of life in the Spirit.
The better path that Jesus makes meaningful is one on which we take time with Him, spend hours rather than minutes in communion with Him, listen to Him through His Word with our heart more than our mind, in silence and solitude with him. If I cannot do that during this time, then when? This just may be the best time of the rest of my life!
We are in a similar situation as the two disciples were that day when the resurrected Jesus joined them on the walk to Emmaus after the crucifixion. They were lost in sorrow over the death of Jesus and the perplexing stories of some women that He had been raised from the dead. They were disappointed to the core of their being. Isn’t that the way we feel now? As a global society, we are dismayed deep down in the core of our being—going through all five stages of grief together: denial, anger, bargaining, depression, and finally, acceptance.
We hear denial in the brave declarations: “We got this! We can do this! Nothing can stop us! We are together in this! We can beat this! This is just a bump in the road. We must re-open very soon!” We hear anger in the volley of conversations about loss of jobs and financial security. We hear bargaining in the political tug-of-war about longer shut-downs versus the re-opening of businesses and services. For some, depression is already setting in—the dismal fear that perhaps we cannot overcome this, even working together. It is heard in the weariness of those on the front line. This fight is bigger than all the nations around the globe put together.
Already, there is overwhelming sorrow for many. BUT, it is true that we are together in this and that we need each other in order to come out of this with a hopeful future. It is also true that we all have the same resource for helping us through these uncertain times. Government officials, business leaders, front-line workers, back-line workers, moms, dads, friends, children—we all can walk with Jesus. There is one way through this that can bring us out in a different place and a better place. It is the path of walking more closely with Jesus, seeking His wisdom, following the inner guidance of His Spirit, taking time to listen for His inner voice and being obedient to what we hear.
